Thursday, July 14, 2011

It's the End of the World As We Know It (Carpocolypse Now)

No, the world really isn't ending, but for some Angelenos, it might as well be. You may have heard something about how much we southern Californians love our cars. Since we all love our cars, that means we're in them. A lot. That results in a lot of traffic. And there are a lot of us. There's a lot of traffic. You may have heard about this phenomenon here. Some of this may not be news to you.

What may be news to you (the three of you who read this who don't reside in California. For all one of you who read this who does live in California *Hi Wendy!* this is not news to you), is that one of our major interstates is closing over the weekend for some major construction. The 405 will be closed between the 10 and the 101 on the weekend of July 16-17. Freeway ramps will begin closing at 7 p.m. on Friday, July 15. The 405 won't reopen until 6 a.m. on Monday, July 18. (See how cool we are here in LA? We love our private transportation so much that freeways get a THE for an article in front of them.)

It's a huge whoop-dee-doo deal. At least, that's what they want us to believe. Such a huge big deal in fact, that they've coined a name for how tragic it will be for us to be without a major freeway (thereby impacting other freeways and ALL our traffic) all weekend long: Carmageddon.

Yes, that's right. They are comparing this to the end of the world.

I came up with my own term for it. (Which is really the point of this post. I want to show you how clever I am. That, and see how many parenthetical asides I can throw in.)


Which, if you ask me, is more fitting. I think "Carmageddon" implies a battle between good and evil, which if you break it down, doesn't really make sense. It's not like there will be Decepticons invading the freeway, for heavens' sake. Just a bunch of bulldozers.

"Carpocolypse," on the other hand, really is a much more fitting term for the end of the world where automobile traffic is concerned.

So if you start hearing people using that term, you heard it here first. I expect royalties.


  1. Bad news... I used it Carpocalypse last week during Primary, when announcing Ward Beach Day! See you there!

    Am I really the only Californian who reads your blog?

  2. It actually made the national news, so I heard about it last week. I didn't realize it affected anyone I knew, though. I hope you made it through okay!