Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Here's To a New Year

I feel like I'm still waiting for Christmas. Even though I know it didn't pass me by, I still feel like I wasn't completely present. I didn't hear enough Christmas music. I didn't enjoy enough Christmas lights and decorated houses. I didn't put up enough decorations in our own house. I didn't serve enough. I didn't feel Christmas this year.

I enjoyed my presents, I enjoyed giving the presents I gave and I chose very thoughtful ones for my loved ones and got very thoughtful ones in return. I got a lot of Christmas cards and season's greetings from friends.

But it's December 27th, and I feel like I'm still waiting for the big day.

It could be something as simple as the lack of weather. Two days before Christmas we had all our doors open because it was so dang warm. But that seemed to be a nation-wide problem. It was warm everywhere, unseasonably so.

Or maybe Christmas was just so good that it seems a bit unreal. Because it really was. Terrific. Great. Wonderful. I have a great family and a great family of choice that I spend the holidays with, and I am surrounded by love and affection.

Christmas was good, but I want to feel more, be more, do more. And I hate waiting for next year for that to happen, but when something only comes once a year, I have no other choice. So I will work up to that throughout the year by being more me, more present, more in the moment.

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